One of the toughest things on a relationship is the fallout from an affair; it often feels like the final straw. But, it doesn’t have to be the end of the story. Many of those relationships can survive and flourish with the help of counselling at Relate. Common concerns are of embarrassment for what happened but you can rest assured that at Relate we are accustomed to and experts in this field: you couldn’t be in better hands. Another worry is that the person who conducted the affair will be blamed, but we don’t believe that assigning blame actually helps. Our job is not to destroy the “guilty” but to facilitate communication between the couple and ensure that deep meaning issues are discussed and understood.
A lot of affairs result in a loss of trust in the relationship, even years down the line with resentment and guilt eating up both parties. In our safe space we discuss these feelings, helping you to listen to one another, to learn how to relate to one another and how to build trust again. More that that, we help you to work out the core reason for the affair – the real issue in the relationship. Statistics show that a couple are more likely to remain married if an extramarital affair is explored and resolved through counselling, so although the common argument is that “counselling can’t save us or tell us anything we don’t know” – it is a controlled way of managing the aftermath of an affair and many couples go on to happy and healthy futures with the help of Relate.